5.08.2009

All-Superhero Football Team

For the original (awesome) post, see here:

So what would be your picks?
My altered rules from the original:
1. Girls are allowed. I won a championship this year with 4 girls on my team who were sick-nasty.
2. Don't care about the line. You may note that the line (with the exception of Beast) was basically picked on a size basis. I don't care how good your knowledge of big males in spandex is - there's just not that much interesting stuff going there
3. Keep the no super-villains rule - feel free to submit that team if you'd like
4. Imagine that each hero could use whatever is in his/her arsenal so long as it comports with NFL rules. (E.g, Spiderman using his web to pick a ball out of the air is OK, Wolverine stabbing someone with his claws to get around him is not)

My team:

QB: Batman - Best strategic thinker (plus my personal favorite) in all of comic books - plus he's like Peyton Manning intense times 100. Lack of superpower is a plus in my book - he doesn't need to depend on them and can exploit everyone else's.

FB: The Thing - It'ssssss CLOBBERIN TIME

RB1: Because we always go RB by committee these days - Wolverine is a good pick here

RB2: I'm cheap - Shadowcat because she can run through things. That's not even fair on a football team

WR1: Angel from X-Men - Definitely opens up your passing game by being able to fly.

WR2: Flash - Like Ted Ginn, but maybe a 0.29 40.

TE: Mr. Fantastic - He can turn into your security blanket. Literally.

OLB: Captain America - rock of the defense right here

MLB: Beast - Because I don't need him on the line - have him as an Urlacher-style defensive coordinator out there

OLB: Superman - can you imagine trying to run or pass on this set of linebackers?

CB: Nightcrawler - Nothing says shutdown corner like a guy that can teleport on top of you no matter where you go.

CB: Jean Grey - because the girls have all the cheap powers, and being able to move the football with telekinesis is one of them

FS: Spiderman - agree with the article - easiest pick in the book.

SS: Iceman - because with that set of linebackers you have there, all you're asking for is a hard hitter - and a solid block of ice should do the trick nicely.

K: You kidding me? Who the hell would sign up to be a superhero kicker?

1 comment:

  1. Haha sweet post. Here's my all-villains team.

    QB: Mystique, you can't sack her if she looks like the backfield ref.

    FB: Juggernaut (bitch!)

    RB: Quicksilver, obv.

    WR: The Joker. He's wily, fast, and fits the typical psyche profile of superstar wideouts.

    WR2: The Green Goblin. Not as tricky as the Joker, but just as crazy, and he flies.

    TE: Doctor Octopus, he can block and catch AT THE SAME TIME.

    ILB: Doctor Doom, he is smarter than just about everyone and a heavyweight to boot. In fact, Doom is so awesome he is also Defensive coordinator.

    OLBs: Doomsday and Thanos, they just want to destroy everything.

    CB: Namor has all the physical attributes, and the fact that he sometimes just goes nuts doesn't matter when you play defense.

    CB: The Blob, a nontraditional body type, but when he jams the receiver they stay jammed.

    SS: Silver Surfer, cosmic rays and his surfboard make him the most versatile player on his side of the field.

    FS: I'm running out of names, I'll put Catwoman here for some gender balance.

    K: Magneto, he can move the uprights wherever he wants.

    Offensive Coordinator: Loki, he's tricksy

    Head Coach: Ozymandias, smartest man in the world.

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