The Pussycat Stall: Jaguars Stopped Short as Sims-Walker Goes Long

Props to Lulu for writing the headline - you win one free condom! Steve wins honorable mention for three efforts to win the headline award ... he really wanted that condom badly! Alas, this one, which was funny in a morbid sort of way, but ultimately factually incorrect, can take home second prize and a pat on the back: MSW Caught 2 TDs Last Week, STDs This Week.

Retroactive shout-out: To Cain for "Jaguars Get Blown Out: David Garrard and Mike Sims Walker Both Lacked Protection"

For those of you who missed it, last Sunday, Mike Sims-Walker, the No. 1 wide receiver for the Jacksonville Jaguars, was suddenly deactivated prior to their game with the Seattle Seahawks. There was no particular explanation (i.e., injury) but the basic understanding was that he violated some team rule or other and that was his punishment.

Turns out, according to the Florida Times-Union,

"Sims-Walker missed bed check Friday night due to a visit with a female friend that went a little long, according to an NFL source, who described the situaton by saying, "undefeated and untied.""

I guess Sims-Walker really could have used that free condom, because in the time it took him to find one, he ended up missing bed check and failed to successfully sneak in through the fire escape.

Without Sims-Walker, Jacksonville's offense couldn't find the end zone, laid a goose egg and got blown out 41-0 by Seattle.

Jack of the River, I hope you enjoyed your little disciplinarian trip this week, because as a result, Sims-Walker outscored your whole team this weekend. Cheerio, chaps!