The worst NFL game analysis in the world

BARRY WILNER, AP Football Writer, please take your pathetic excuse for a pen and stab yourself in the eye with it.

This is not a joke - this is legitimately the worst two paragraphs of football analysis that I've seen since I learned what football was.

The three sentences that were particularly galling:

3. If the offensive line avoids penalties, the Cowboys could deal well with Minnesota’s sixth-ranked defense. In a nutshell, if your guys don't fuck up, they'll be able to do their job.

2. Brett Favre(notes) didn’t end yet another retirement to go out in the opening round of the playoffs. Gosh, and here I was thinking that he wanted to end his retirement with a first round bye and stay there!

And .... drumroll for the most inane, galling sentence:

1. Plus, All-Pro running back Adrian Peterson is a difference maker. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THESE LAST FIVE YEARS!?!?!?!?!

And then I saw this headline and giggled: NFL Team Report: Cowboys' Adams Must Hold Down Vikings' Allen