Rasheed Wallace and my closing in a fake murder trial

First, some context:



Next, this afternoon, I was giving my closing argument for a mock trial for this class I'm taking over winter term, called Trial Advocacy Workshop. We were encouraged to take some risks, get out of the box a little for our closing, and this is what I came up with:

.... [blah blah blah burden of proof blah blah blah here's what we've heard blah blah blah] ... Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you've heard the defense give their final arguments. You've heard them throw everything but the kitchen sink at the wall, guessing, hoping, that one of those things will stick and the defendant, who gunned down a young man and a young woman in cold blood, would walk out of this courtroom a free man. And you've heard them talk about the high burden of proof the prosecution faces, the burden of proving beyond a reasonable doubt. But the prosecution embraces this burden.

At this point, I want to step back out of our roles for a moment. We're in the great city of Boston [suppresses gag], and I would bet that several of you fine ladies and gentlemen of the jury are big Boston Celtics fans. And this year, the Celtics went out and got a new player, Rasheed Wallace, who has a trademark saying.

Ball. Don't. Lie.

[juror #7 giggles] Now, this is not meant to be funny. Or flippant. We're in a murder trial, and this is serious business. But at the same time, we recognize that there is life going on out there, and you will need to use your life experiences when you walk into that jury room and deliberate on today's proceedings. And that's why I want you to remember, that no matter what court in this great Commonwealth we're in, some things don't change.

Ball. Don't. Lie.

And in this court, perhaps the more appropriate way to put it would be this:

Evidence. Don't. Lie.

Because when we look at everything objectively, when we approach the case with our reason and common sense, and keep bias out of our minds, the evidence speaks clearly, so strongly that only one story can be told.

And this is the story that the evidence tells, because the

Evidence. Don't. Lie.

And then I went on and blabbered about it for a while and the judge who was giving us critiques gave me his feedback and what not, and at the very end, he said:

"You know, I'm a Lakers fan, and even I loved it when you said Ball Don't Lie."

Great times were had by all.