Moronic article of the week

It's time for that wonderful, ulcer-inducing four weeks known as March Madness! Every year, as March Madness kicks off, you get a flurry of idiotic blog posts written with half a sense to appeal to the lowest common denominator (i.e., wives and girlfriends [or husbands and boyfriends] who don't watch ESPN or know how many points you get from shooting behind the 3-point line), and half a sense to show off how knowledgeable they are about college basketball.

By the way, I just realized that the last sentence could very well refer to this post, but I ask that you not think of it that way, or else you're just going to go in circles and have a mental breakdown, and no one wants that!

Anyways, moronic article of the week not written by a member of the BSS Report is .... drumroll .... Jeff Eisenberg of Yahoo!'s The Dagger!

Let's see what we've got here in his Do's and Don'ts list:

DON'T: Pay attention to which team's mascot would win in a fight. I like a Grizzly Bear in a death match against pretty much anything. But I don't like the Montana Grizzlies against the New Mexico Lobos or the Oakland Grizzlies against the Pittsburgh Panthers.

... I've been beaten by people who went with that strategy. If you could figure out scientifically which team was going to win, we wouldn't be calling it March Madness, would we now?

DON'T: Put all four No. 1 seeds in your Final Four. It has only happened in 2008, and this year's No. 1s aren't juggernauts like Kansas, Memphis, UCLA and North Carolina were that season. Plus, if you don't take some risks, you'll wind up losing your bracket contest to the mail clerk who did.

... sounds like someone is bitter about losing to a guy who was paying attention to which team's mascot would win in a fight.

And.... my favorite, Jeff ends his post with this brilliant insight:

DON'T: Pick the defending champion to win it all. To find North Carolina's name, you'll need to print out an NIT bracket.

That's great advice! For people who drafted the wrong Adrian Peterson in fantasy drafts this year. Unless that happened a hell of a lot more than I thought it was going to happen, Jeff wins the award by failing one of the cardinal rules of writing: Start strong, and end strong.

Like so: